Dont be afraid of the “What If’s”

Today marked my first run in a nearly year and a half.

I’ve been saying for almost a year I wanted to get back to running.

“So what?” you may say. Well for me, this is a BIG deal

I used to love running, I’d head off on a trail with my faithful four legged friend for miles previous to CFS. We ran for fun. We ran to tire her out. And we ran to train for 10K’s and half marathons.

Running was OUR THING. Then came the recovery process.

I had learn to listen more to my body and those inevitable signs. “Push and Crash”. I tried to get back into running. And so – Push and Crash I did.

This afternoon my daughter asked would I come for a run with her… “Yes” said I. “See you in fifteen minutes!”

I had a moment of panic… Ahh!! What are you thinking Jacqui? You know how this can affect you!

I reminded myself that I have no classes until Thurs/Fri this week, and they’re easier ones on my body. You can try this and see what happens. It’s safe. Go for it girl. Don’t be afraid. You’ve already said yes to it.

I love the classes I teach, I’m fortunate that I can get to teach what I want to, and therefore I only teach what speaks to a me inside. There is no doubt I love one class a little more. PiYo has been the one workout which speaks to me like running did, but with PiYo I can modify on a low energy day, I can adapt my teaching to suit how I’m feeling on the day. Running, I won’t have this luxury unless I give in and walk.

I’ve wanted to return to running for so long. PiYo will always have it’s place in my life as my soulmate workout, however I really really miss the challenge of offroad running. We have so many easy to access forestry trails around us and the views and the challenges they provide are just amazing. I also really miss that feeling of being free with my own thoughts, my body in sinc with my feet and my breath. My happy place.

I know for sure I was putting it off because I was scared of the after crash, pushing my body and heart rate to the max can leave me utterly drained. When I say utterly drained, I’m talking about not being able to climb the stairs to bed, not managing to string a sentence together and stay focused on a conversation. A CFS crash is like no other type of tiredness. There is absolutely no way you can press on and get through. It literally stops me in my tracks. I felt that now my ever excited and faithful running companion Morgan (dog) is not longer with us I wouldn’t have my minder up the hill with me. The thought of heading up the hill on my own was scary after so many years of running with my dog. Yet I also didn’t want to hold anyone back of the suggested coming with me as I don’t always know how my body will react to exercise from one day to the next, until I begin.

Now just so your aware, we have just returned from our fortnight trip on our boat and I have excessively overindulged, and not a squat or downward dog was done in the past three weeks. I have been so lazy. My glutes have spread and so has my belly.

Anyways. I let my panic go – I have no classes for three days, so I went with it.

Crikey! Tough was an under-statement. I’d forgotten just how hard a climb some of those hills are. What used to be my warm-up was now becomimg my nightmare. I could see the end I’m sight, but boy – it was mind over body most the way.

In fairness I only took around four, or maybe five walk breaks. My daughter wanted to hit the 5K mark. I expected to be walking most of it, falling behind while she ran on and then picked me up on the down side. Yet there I was runnkng. Behind her. I mostly kept up. I found a sudden spurt of energy 2.5miles in, so this is how long it now takes my body to warm up. My tiny steps had improved, my stride felt longer and I’d forgotten my breathing was such an effort as it was now in sinc.

Bonus : 1) No Stitch 2) only took four/five walk breaks 3) we ran the 5K… And they were mostly hills!


I have CFS but I am still a runner

I have overcome the fear or starting again. Thank you for asking me Nic x

I don’t know how my body will react to this over the next few days, I may be living through the CFS hangover daze for a few days afterwards.
CFS looks invisible from the outside, but to the host this condition is very very real and if reality hits then I will have to suck it up. Hopefully though, I haven’t given myself too much of a shock.

However for today I feel proud; 38min ‘5K ~ 11.52 pace ~ with hills’

I think my T-shirt says it all…
“The Secret To Getting Ahead Is Getting STARTED”